MEME!!!

Alkelda tagged me on "8 Facts/Habits About Myself," and I finally gave it enough thought. I'm sure once I publish this I'll think of 8 more, but Brad the Gorilla also tagged me, so I suppose that gives me free license for another meme. It's all about me, right?

Here are the rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Anyway, I'd like to preface this meme by saying I'm being completely honest; please don't judge me! Exit, stage LEFT!!!

1. I'm terrified of the dark, unless there's someone else there, and even then I'm pretty damn uneasy. Yes, I have a "night-light." I'm such a pussy. (Don't START with me, Limpy!)

2. I have a good number of "phobias." I'm claustrophobic if in a confined space for any length of time. I MUST stand right in front of the doors on an elevator. I'm working on that.

I'm mildly agoraphobic ...it takes everything I have to be in a huge crowd without feeling anxious. I don't HATE people, and I'm not afraid to step out, it just makes me nervous to have someone all up in my "personal space." Could be part of being raped at gunpoint when I was 19. Shrug...don't know, but I'm over that. Just don't EVEN ask me to go to the mall around Christmastime.

Acrophobia is another, except on roller coasters and really cool amusement park rides. Looking over the edge of somewhere REALLY high makes me squinch up my butt cheeks, whether the space is enclosed or not. That scene in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" where they're leaning on the glass of that really tall building freaks me out. It could also be a fear of falling (don't know the name of that phobia), because just being up high doesn't bother me so much as the fall. I DO want to skydive to prove to myself that I can be fearless. One good shove with a tandom diver ought to do it. Or scare me into a sanitarium, one of the two.

Each one of those "phob's" probably deserved its own number but this is MY meme, right? LOL

3. My major pet-peeve is spelling and grammar. I'm guilty of fucking up from time to time. "Dictionary.com" is one of my bookmarks. I used to have a really bad habit of correcting people. "Deaf/death" is HUGE with me. If you can't hear, you're NOT "death." Christ on a trapeze. What, are you, DEAF? (No offense to anyone who's really deaf!)

4. I LOVE PINK FLOYD! (This one probably should have been first.) I can't get enough of them. I especially like listening to them through the headphones, when I have what I like to call, "down-time." While I'm being honest, Karen Carpenter was the reason I became a singer, and I like Neil Diamond and Cat Stevens. A LOT.

5. I had a GREAT childhood. Most, but not ALL, the memories are the best, but I think I turned out alright, and I'm best friends with my parents, who are still together and still in love, and THEY are still best friends. That's just RARE in this world.

6. Flying over water scares the fuck out of me. Hell, see #2, and that's only 1/2 of it! I've never been "across the ocean," but once, on a trip back to Cleveland, we flew a little bit over Lake Erie so the pilot could turn around and land on his designated strip. I nearly soiled myself.

7. I have a really bad habit of tuning people out when they're talking to me about something I have absolutely no interest in. Especially politics. The receptionist at work drives me BATSHIT with her rhetoric, goading one of the IT guys into some sort of debate (can you say, attention whore???). Sometimes I just want to scream, "Shut the fuck up, work is NO PLACE to voice your fucking political (and/or religious) opinion!!!" (Okay, I guess I had to vent a little there...)

8. I secretly like being tickled until my ribs hurt.

This sure has been fun. I, for one, learned some things about meme.

I hereby tag the following people in this Lady's kingdom (yeah, okay, there're 12...so sue me):

Big Pissy
Birdy
bostick
Brad
Callie (if it's done fucking pouring)
Cap'n Cork
Jerry
Jerry's Mad Penis
Jenjur
Junebugg
Limpy
Mattie

Happy Friday, and everyone have a safe, happy, healthy weekend!!!

Going Crazy

The front desk dispatcher had an appointment this morning, so I'm stuck answering phones and doing dispatch.

I abhore doing this. Seriously. I hate feeling like I'm chained to my desk. It's bad enough I had dreams about work last night, and now this.

I'll write more this afternoon or tonight when I get home.

Have a great HNT.

Good News

WOO HOO!!!! Got a call from the liver doc's office, and he says my liver enzymes have greatly improved. They're still not back down to normal, but they're WAY down from what they were two weeks ago.

Hey kids, can you say, "NO liver biopsy?" Thank God for small miracles. I sure wasn't looking forward to being shanked by a hollow needle and having a piece of my liver yanked out. Talk about a major buzzkill!

So now I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, wait for the test results for the hemochromatosis (the lab says that test takes at least 14 days), and THEN maybe we can reschedule the yankitallouttame...again. Y'all keep your fingers crossed!

Meanwhile, one of the techs at work recommended this little bit of nuttiness. I LOVE a good laugh. Enjoy, and happy HUMP DAY!

FEARLESS

You say the hill's too steep to climb;

Climbing.

You say you'd like to see me try~~

Climbing.

You pick the place and I'll choose the time

And I' ll climb

The hill in my own way.

Just wait a while for the right day.

And as I rise above the tree-line and the clouds

I look down, hearing the sound of the things you've said today.

...

Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd, , ,

Smiling.

Merciless the magistrate turns round

Frowning.

And who's the fool who wears the crown?

No doubt,

In your own way,

And every day is the right day

And as you rise above the fear-lines in his brow,

You look down, hear the sound of the faces in the crowd.

~ Pink Floyd

Holy Bulging Veins, Batman!!!

Yep, two more vials of my finest are off to the lab. THIS time, they kept calling me up to the front counter. Apparently, my "liver guy" ordered a test for hemochromatosis.

Uh...okay? (Read: I'm thinking, "What the fuck is THAT?")

Apparently it's some weird blood dis-order where you store too much iron in your system, and all your organs soak it up...particularly the liver. Okay, I get it...so I got on WebMD to look it up.

BAD idea! When will I ever LEARN? Talk about curiosity killing the cat.

I really need to stay away from reading up on this shit and just be a patient patient and wait for the doc to explain shit to me. HE'S the one who suffered through years of med school and a residency for crying out loud.

My phlebotomist was a MALE this time, and my arm isn't NEARLY as bruised as the last vampire. He even took TWO vials, and it hardly hurt at all. Turns out, he's a grad from med school and is just waiting to start his residency in, of all places, ALABAMA. (No offense, BP!) Unfortunately he said he wants to specialize in plastic surgery. BOO-HISS. Sellout! He DID say he may change his mind. He had a great bedside manner; I'd hate to see that go to waste on some rich, old plantation debutante wannabe.

Friday I'm going to throw myself into work to keep my mind off the fact that a liver biopsy just MAY be in my future. I've talked to a couple people who "knew people" who've had them, and they said it's not as un-invasive as my doc claims it to be. Then again, medicine has come a long way in a very short time, but the thought of someone driving a hollow needle into my abdomen and ripping off a piece of my liver just sounds wrong and painful, simply because they won't knock me out to do it. No, thank you. Limpy, I'm admittedly being a pussy about THAT shit. Seriously. Think about a NAD biopsy, using the same method. Long needle all up into one or both of your nuts? Or better yet...up somewhere else to your prostate? Uh-huh. See? LOL ;-)

AAAANNNDDDD....on a lighter note, I've taken some pretty cool pics of the flowering bushes around the complex:

At the moment, the temp is a "cool" 95 degrees. I've gotten my mosquito problem under control (they like to hide on the bathroom mirror, so I go in from time to time to whack them worse than a Soprano's enemy), and gooberdog is lying right next to me, snoring her fool head off. I get to spend a buncha time with my family over this holiday weekend, bbq'ing and playinig in the pool and shooting the shit. Life is good, no matter what.

Hope ALL of you readers have a great, SAFE, fun, happy Memorial Day weekend. Pud, if you're out there, I'm thinking of you and your peeps. I salute you all and pray for your safe return.

Forgive me, nonny, for I have caved...

I'm assuming the reason you disappeared is because YOU caved, as well.

YES, I caved, dammit, and watched the finale of American Idol. If not for brotherman and a VERY drunken mutual friend coming over here, telling me to "TURN ON IDOL!!!" I would have been deprived of seeing some great performances by some REALLY great artists. They could have spared me the "outtakes" from the first contestants, but that's what got me hooked me on the stupid show to begin with.

Brotherman could NOT stop apologizing, as they were at the bar, seeing a friend off who's being deported to Iraq tomorrow. Shots all around. Duh, that's what you do with Army bitches, right? Brotherman was smart to limit his drinking (go figure) and drove drunken friend HERE, then home.

Good Christ on a bike.

Brotherman made it home fine, but I got hooked on the Idol.

DAMMIT.

Then again...seeing TONY BENNETT???? (WOWWED me, at his age!) HOLY crap! I was shocked. I really was amazed at the lineup on the show tonite. I'm sure there'll be a CD or DVD somewhere down the line.

Kelly Underwood's voice gives me goosebumps.

That's all I'm saying. I'm under enough shame pressure for watching as it is...

I might as well be nekkid when I get my blood drawn. Fuck.

Man On Fire

HOLY SHIT!!! This movie was on cable tonight and I couldn't have been more on the edge of my seat.

There I was, lying on the couch after a day of work, still feeling so-so, having some solid food (finally), and flipping channels. NOTHING ON, so I figured, "what the hell, I'll watch this movie." Who can go wrong with Denzel and Dakota?

It started out really slow and I was just about start flipping again and then...WOW ~ WOW! I was on the edge of my seat for most of the movie. I think I might just go out and BUY it.

I realllllllly HATE subtitles, but decided, living down here, I should learn a little Spanish. Don't ask me to repeat anything except "uno houre`." I'm a visual girl. This movie, however, really hit me in the heart without kevlar.

That's all I'm saying about that. I'm still feeling "ick," and the Ambien isn't doing anything but giving me REALLY vivid, weird dreams, and I HAVE to get my ass to work in the morning.

I'm thinking about taking the "Lunesta Challenge." Seriously, I'm not looking for drugs, I just want to save my liver enzymes so they can cut my ass open and take out the bad shit.

Thursday morning I have my next blood test. I've been drinking water and green tea like crazy, but tonight I had a cocktail. Probably just screwed myself, but MAN after NOT drinkin' for awhile, I'm gonna sleep like a BABY.

Meanwhile, I'm still LATE (i KNOW, limpy, I lied about being on the pill. LMAO)

I took TWO tests. NEGATIVE. This could be the beginning of the big change. Whatever. I'm down with it, as long as they do SOMETHING to rid me of the PAIN I'VE BEEN IN FOR THE PAST FUCKING YEAR.

Happy hump day, kiddos!

Is There a Doctor in the HOUSE???

DAMMIT.

I'm sick ~ AGAIN. I cannot believe this.

I really musta fucked up BAD when I was younger to deserve karma like this. Seriously, you guys, I'm at the end of my rope here.

I can't take anything, either, because I have my last blood test Thursday morning to see if I get the "all clear" for surgery, THEN I gotta be really good to make sure the PRE-OP bloodwork comes back alright. (Provided they decide to reschedule the shit!)

I AM allowed to take up to 4 ibuprofen tablets a day, and the ambien is really helping with the sleep, although the nightmares and weird dreams disturb the fuck out of me. I mean...REALLY vivid and disTURBING. FUCK!!!

I'm over a week "late," too. Not helping. I was THRILLED at the prospect, but the ETP said "no dice." Fuckers. I really wanted to be a mom and give the 'rents more grandchllins.

FUCK.

Now I love that word even MORE! LMAO

Happy Monday.

BAD ELF

I keep going to funnyordie.com, typing "elf" into the search bar, and laughing my ASS off.


I SO need stuff like that right now. It's therapeutic. I'm addicted. I live with the threat of getting busted for using at work. Thank GOD it's not illegal or I'd probably be blogging from prison.


funnyordie.com


DO IT.


FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!


I have a really fond memory of going camping with my family and the family next door when I was about 5, and the next door neighbor boy and I (for the LIFE of me I can't remember his name...and we played "doctor!" DAMMIT!) were sitting on the picnic table just going "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck FUCK!) Our moms were MORTIFIED. They came over and smacked our asses and told us what a bad word it was.


FUCK, my ass hurt.


God BLESS Will Ferrell.. FUCK! GOD I love that word. "The Landlord" is hilarious, and the outtakes are even better. BONUS, people are making a SERIES out of it on this site.


Hope everyone has a good weekend!!!

Celebrate Good Times...

Come ON!!!

Dance a little!!! Okay...a LOT!




I finally heard back from the doc's office. Results from the ultrasound were "un-remarkable." I said, "That's GOOD, right?" She says, "OH YES, that's VERY good. Everything we looked at on the ultrasound looked okay, nothing to 'remark' about."

Scared? Bet your ever-loving ASS I was...

Jumpin' up an' down for my ever-god-please-oh-please-i'm-too-fucking-young-life???

BET YOUR ASS.

GO LADY! IT'S Y'BIRFDAY!!! (it's not really my birthday, I just like saying that)

Raise the ROOF!!! YES!!! Happy dance, happy dance, HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!

I imagine my innards would look something like these:

Liver...

Liver and kidney.I'm hoping what I pulled off the 'net are HEALTHY pictures.

DAMMIT Jim, I'm an Accountant, NOT a radiologist!!!

I just feel like I can BREATHE right now. I have another week, then I get my liver enzymes checked. Bitches better NOT make my arm look like a hooker after a heroin binge like last time.

I digress...

After that, I need to get clearance from all THREE docs to get my surgery. Still drinking a TON of water, and we'll see what the blood tests say. After that, I just might be able to get the junk ripped out.

(I know that sounds crude, but at this point, come ON, I've been doing this since last OCTOBER, people!)

Keep your fingers crossed, and the prayers coming. Moms & pops are still saying they're putting me in a bubble once we get the "all clear" for surgery. LMAO. They slay me.

Happy, happy, joy, joy-joy!!!

Life Broken Down Into Segments

Actually, you can cut that sleeping shit in half and mark the new segment "Either reading or watching mindless TV while trying to shut my mind off and GET to sleep," and change the "sleeping" segment to "Tossing and turning, getting 15-20 minutes' sleep at a time."

There's gotta be a better way to relax...

I'm not allowed to take ANY kind of "PM" meds right now, nor can I put a few drinks in me. Fucking liver enzymes. Still no word from the liver guy about my ultrasound. I'm hoping to hear from them today, and hopefully they have the capability to email me the pics.

Oh, yeah, and I'm 4 days "late." Isn't THAT an ironic thought??? I'm sure it's just all the stress from all the poking/prodding/sticking I've been getting. And by sticking, I mean the needles. Get your minds out of the gutter, peeps! hee hee!

Happy Hump Day! (pun totally intended)

Tickle Me, Tech!!!

Holy MOLY!

The ultrasound went wonderfully, save for the fact that I couldn't stop giggling.

"Take a deep breath, and hold it."

"OK."

"BWAAAHHH HA HA HA HA!!!""

This is how I spent the morning. I couldn't stop apologizing to the ultrasound tech, but by the end of the session we were BOTH giggling because of how ticklish I am.

I couldn't really see the screen, which really sucked because I REALLY wanted to see what my stomach, liver, and spleen looked like. Oh well. Maybe if I ask the "liver doc" really nicely, he'll send me images via email. One can only hope, right? I'm sure you are all DYING to see me post images of my insides, right?

Mosquitoes still seem to find their way into the apartment. FORTUNATELY, one of the girls at work gave me a tube of Avon's "Skin So Soft" lotion, which also serves as a natural repellent. Between that and the flyswatter, these little bloodsucking fucks don't have a chance in hell in MY house.

Pops is still waiting to hear whether he's got to get "the shock" or not. We'll know more about that tomorrow or Wednesday.

Heroes...HOLY SHIT!!!

Wastin' Away in Margarita....I mean...Mosquitoville

These little bastards are everywhere. My doors/windows are closed up tighter than a cork on a wine bottle, but they STILL manage to get in and bite the SHIT out of me. What pisses me off the MOST is that they wait till I'm SLEEPING and can't fight them OFF! Every year they seem to get smarter.

What GIVES? I know...it's like the Island of Dr. Mosquito...they're MORPHING.

HEY! Maybe it's the MOSQUITO BITES that are making my liver enzymes so high...thoughts? Anyone? ... Bueller? Bueller?

I've been cooling the apartment down more because of them, trying to just kill them off, and sleeping undercover (just a sheet...it's a hundred-fucking-FIVE outside). My next electric bill ought to be interesting.

Pops gets to go see whether he's gotta get his heart shocked back to normal rhythm tomorrow, and I get to go see if I need a liver transplant, ha. I'm sure he won't, and I'm sure I won't. Had to make bad jokes or I'd be wigging. We were joking that we're both sick of being poked, prodded, and stuck with needles. Last blood draw for me resulted in a REALLY ugly bruise in the crook of my arm. NOT gonna let THAT chick stick me in 2 weeks, that's for sure.

MOMS looked GREAT! She really DOES, for someone who's been working so much. I'm on Pop's side., though..time to retire, dammit! (I'm like her, though..."THEN what would I do?")

Shit man...TRAVEL or live off your kids!!! :-D

Happy Monday, my peeps! I'll update ya after they stop tickling me.

Onyinywxhukqu? (yes, dear, it's real.) Otis? Oswald? Osmond? Ocunnoqhwurst? Ohcumghache? Olusijbomi? (yep, those are real, too.) Orwyn? Oswald? Owen? Orlando? O! O! Ocanigetaclue? Oicantgiveuppricelessinfo? Oiamadickhead? Give it UP!!!

The Results Are In!!!

Doc called me yesterday to let me know about my recent bloodwork...no Hep, no Mono ~ YAY!

BUT...

(ah shit, there's always a "but" these days)

My iron level is high. I don't know what that means, or what causes it, so I got online to find out.

Bad idea.

There are a zillion things that could cause a high iron content in the blood, including liver disease and a couple other diseases. I'm NOT going to freak out.

I think I'll just see what the ultrasound results say on Monday and take it from there.

Call it denial, but I'm just sick of worrying about shit that COULD happen.

Hope you're all having a good weekend! I gotta go bake 14 lbs. of beans now (yep, 14!). THAT'S gonna be cool...

Comic Relief

My parents are a riot. They are my best friends in the whole world.

Preface: Got a call from the "ultrasound scheduling people" in the EVENING, no doubt. I joked with the girl that she was there late, and she says, "oh, yeah, well, we're here till 8...unfortunately." (I have discovered that the nicer you are to these scheduling people, the quicker you seem to get in when you finally get there.)

Ultrasound on the alleged distressed liver is Monday morning. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! I am EXTREMELY ticklish, so this could be the laughter that is the best medicine. When the GI was feeling up my abdomen, I kept giggling. Seriously. He kept apologizing, I kept saying, "HEY, it's just who I am." GIGGLY.

Anyway, I called the 'rents to let them know...obviously they are BOTH feeling WAY better, because moms tells me that they BOTH think I should be wearing a surgical MASK anywhere I go, and pops thinks they should just put me in a bubble until my bloodwork comes back "normal."

"If you can't find some humor in adversity, you might as well give up hope." ~ ME, unless this is just a long-term historical quote that I'm plagiarizing. If so, my guess is that Eleanor Roosevelt would have said something like that. If not, then anyone...take it.

Our company picnic is this weekend. I'm hoping it's not as interesting as I think it may be...and I REALLY hope it's not going to be 102 degrees., although there may be relief if it IS hot...

Happy Weekends, kids, and for you "Muthuz" out there...Happy Mother's Day!

And Then There Were Three...

GP and GYNO, and GI...Oh MY!

New GI doc is pretty cool. VERY thorough, that's for sure, and has a GREAT bedside manner. After getting all the med history he needed and asking me a zillion questions about what's been going on the last few weeks and getting a feel for my lifestyle, he pokes, prods, tickles (not intentinally~I'm VERY ticklish) and asks more questions. He said it doesn't feel like my liver is enlarged, and my spleen feels like it's okay, but he still wants to get an ultrasound and a bunch of bloodwork to rule out Hep or Mono. He said he doesn't see any real symptoms, but hey, I know he's just being careful. I'm pretty much forbidden to take any pain meds (ugh) from here on out and SERIOUSLY have to curtail drinking any alcohol. I can pretty much kiss any real sleep goodbye until these enzymes are under control. He did pretty much concur with my theory that the combination of all the antibiotics PLUS all the Tylenol I've been taking (um...and drinking combined with taking Tylenol ~ BAD IDEA) probably were all factors as far as why the enzymes were in the 200-300 range. OH YES, people, NORMAL enzymes are within the 40-60 range. He DID give me encouragement by saying that my liver is NOT failing, it's just a little "distressed."

Say it with me now...DAYAM!!! Who THINKS about shit like that? Just a wake up call to slow down and start taking better care of my body. I sure ain't the 20-year-old my mind THINKS I am.

Whew. Now I just gotta get the test results back, then do another enzyme test in 2 weeks. THEN they might think about scheduling my surgery again. For now pain is just something I'll have to deal with. Hey. Adapt and overcome, right?

And now for some really cool pictures from Monday, waiting for court to open...b/f lives close to there, so we went over there for coffee and a little R&R before the real stress began...

Cacti are in full bloom this time of year. These are prickly pear cactus. I wish I could have gotten some good shots of the Saguaro flowers, but they were up too high. I'm only 5'1, for crying out loud! I got a shot of the lower buds, though:Okay, not the greatest, but those suckers open up into the biggest, most beautiful white flowers. Mostly they bloom at night. Now that I think of it, this isn't a saguaro, but it really DID have some pretty HUGE white flowers up high. B/F said he'd take pics for me.

Shots off the back porch. This place is GORGEOUS during early morning hours.

NO idea what this grass is called, but I've always thought it was cool looking. This could possibly be my next haircut...LOL

And THESE kids....swam right up to the shore...

Quacking their fool heads off...male & female mallards...

Acting like they OWNED the place. Check out that male on the right...I SWEAR he looks like he's smiling like Daffy Duck in this picture. They hung out on the sidewalk for a few minutes, figured they weren't getting any bread or treats, then just took off and swam back across the lake. It was REALLY cool. GOOD TIMES!

BIG sigh. The fun ain't over yet, but it's getting there.

Happy HNT, kids!