I've only been going through this shit for almost a year. A cold, pneumonia, antibiotic(and probably alcohol)-induced liver enzyme elevation, low potassium...you name it, SOMETHING was preventing it.
Friday I got the REAL DEAL clearance for surgery. I'm not scared.
... ... ...
Whadda you, MAD? Fuck that, I'm scared outta my wits. I'm not so scared that I won't wake up. To me this is just another cool buzz, right?
BUT...
The minute the chick mentioned the word "catheter", I started with the anxiety. I have a thing about peeing. I mean, I can pee in front of people, no problem, but the thought of something being shoved up AND staying in my ... urethra for 24 hours just sounds fucked UP. THAT and people will be ABLE TO TELL WHEN I'M GOING! Just...EWW!
She tells me they'll put it in when I'm "under," and I won't feel a thing, but it won't come OUT for 24 hours. MEANING, I'm going to be AWAKE when they pull that shit OUT. NO THANX!!! THEN she tells me they'll be getting me out of bed, walking around, that night, WITH THIS THING HANGING OFF MY COOCH? Again...NO THANK YOU!
What in the... WHAT? How ruthless ARE these fuckers? OH, someone PLEASE tell me I'm gonna be better off when this shit is all over. I've got one more day, and one last meal. Starting noon Monday, it's all liquids and a POTENT laxative. I can't WAIT! Should be better than GO-CART RACING!!!
I'll try to send you all off tomorrow, if I have time, with something to remember me by for the next couple of weeks. Maybe some cool pics of the new crib. I got everything unpacked except for the cd's and video's. WOOT!
Hope you all had a good weekend. Happy happy happy, joy joy joy!
12 comments:
Honey, when they get you up after surgery you'll be so buzzed that you won't care what's hanging out. and I promise that it's worth all the problems. Just think, no more pain, no more agony, no muss no fuss. Yeah it's scary but so is most of the big things in life. Best of luck and I'm sending warm fuzzy energy your way to help ya along
junebugg ~ thank you so much for that! I can't believe I'm even going into work today.
I'm sure everything will be fine. No worries.
(((HUGS)))
And if you pull on the string, a little bell plays "Jingle Bells"
callie ~ I KNOW it will all be fine. Where's the morphine button again? LOL
limpy ~ will they send the elves with jello, too?
hey... morphine drips work wonders..if they will let you have it. when i had my brain surgery i didn't care that the doc had walked around inside my head...just WHERE"S THE MORPHINE!
seriously good thots your way my the god of your choosing bless you!
Lady K, I totally understand the indignity. I suffered a few of those myself while going through labor--after 24 hours, ended up as cesarian surgery under general anesthesia. Think of the most embarrassing things that could have happened during that time, and I probably experienced them. This is not to get into a pissing contest (no pun intended) over indignities but thinking about the catheter is worse than the catheter itself.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best.
I can't believe it's finally here. I hope you're going to lean on us heavily for support while you heal. I know everything is going to be fine. And please remember to set aside a couple of pain killers for Corky. ;)
Where is Lady K? Hope everything is ok.
I hope everything is ok in Arizona.
I miss you
xoxox
Go Fight Win!
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