Alrighty, ladies & gents, this is the furthest I've gotten in the "Let's Rip My Guts Out" saga...
I've only been going through this shit for almost a year. A cold, pneumonia, antibiotic(and probably alcohol)-induced liver enzyme elevation, low potassium...you name it, SOMETHING was preventing it.
Friday I got the REAL DEAL clearance for surgery. I'm not scared.
... ... ...
Whadda you, MAD? Fuck that, I'm scared outta my wits. I'm not so scared that I won't wake up. To me this is just another cool buzz, right?
The minute the chick mentioned the word "catheter", I started with the anxiety. I have a thing about peeing. I mean, I can pee in front of people, no problem, but the thought of something being shoved up AND staying in my ... urethra for 24 hours just sounds fucked UP. THAT and people will be ABLE TO TELL WHEN I'M GOING! Just...EWW!
She tells me they'll put it in when I'm "under," and I won't feel a thing, but it won't come OUT for 24 hours. MEANING, I'm going to be AWAKE when they pull that shit OUT. NO THANX!!! THEN she tells me they'll be getting me out of bed, walking around, that night, WITH THIS THING HANGING OFF MY COOCH? Again...NO THANK YOU!
What in the... WHAT? How ruthless ARE these fuckers? OH, someone PLEASE tell me I'm gonna be better off when this shit is all over. I've got one more day, and one last meal. Starting noon Monday, it's all liquids and a POTENT laxative. I can't WAIT! Should be better than GO-CART RACING!!!
I'll try to send you all off tomorrow, if I have time, with something to remember me by for the next couple of weeks. Maybe some cool pics of the new crib. I got everything unpacked except for the cd's and video's. WOOT!
Hope you all had a good weekend. Happy happy happy, joy joy joy!