Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Creepy Neighbor

Remember the incident in my parking lot the first week I moved into my new apartment? My next door neighbor came over to make sure everything was alright, then the maintenance/security guy showed up, and they both assured me they were part of the "neighborhood watch." I was grateful, and told them that I'd be away for a couple weeks because I was having my boobs done.

(I didn't really say that, it just made me giggle ~ doesn't take much these days.)

Anyway, my next door neighbor said he'd keep an eye on my place while I was gone, and got my cell number "just in case" anything looked wonky. Fine, whatever, I knew brotherman would be going over there every couple days to gather mail and check the place out, too, so I wasn't worried.

After surgery, I'm in the hospital, and creepy neighbor (CN) calls me to see "how I'm doing." Okay...I think it's a nice gesture, tell him I'm okay, he chit-chats for awhile, says things are quiet on the homefront, good...great...see ya around when I get home. Whatever.

Next day, still in the hospital, CN calls. Again. Wants to talk. At this point I'm enjoying my Demerol buzz and jello, watching Regis & Kelly, and really don't want to talk. He says he's collecting my newspapers for me. Okay. Got it. Later.

I get to the 'rent's house. CN calls me. AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. Once he even called me after 11pm, asking whether or not he should KEEP said newspapers. I just told him to pitch 'em, as it would only be old news by the time I got home and I'm getting enough network news shoved down my throat every night anyway, and I didn't even ask for the subscription anyway.

THE NEXT MORNING, he calls me up asking whether or not he should throw the papers away. "YES, I told you that last night when you called," I said. "Oh, that's right." I told him I didn't want to talk, so we hang up. FIVE MINUTES LATER he calls again, I didn't answer, but he leaves a voice mail saying, "I went ahead and called the paper and told them to stop sending them."

Who the FUCK? What gives HIM the right to DO something like that? I met the dude ONCE, under duress!!! CREEPY!

He kept calling every day, then last Sunday I finally answered. "I've got bad news," he says. Okay, I bit. "What's up?" He proceeded to tell me that he and his wife and kid were probably going to move soon, got some deal where they could rent to own a house nearby. "I definitely want to stay in touch," he says. Then he starts asking shit like, "so you're living alone?" and "Do you have a MySpace page? I've got one..." "What's your email address? I can send you funny jokes and stuff, and make sure you're okay..."

Uhhh...WHAT the FUCK?

Brotherman's on vacation, but one of my girlfriends is coming down this weekend to hang out, so I should be fine. Supposedly CN's a "stay-at-home-dad," but I've yet to see a wife or kid. Normally I give people the benefit of the doubt, but this is creeping me out, big time. Maybe I've been reading too many "psycho" books.

I'm a little nervous about going home now.

Hope you're all having a great day!


limpy99 said...

You sure can pick an apartment can't you? Here's a tip, when he's standing outside with a garden house and a bottle of lotion, RUN!!

Callie said...

Three words: Change your number.


And don't talk to him. Be rude. Be bitchy. Give him the cold shoulder. Just don't be nice to him. He'll take it as encouragement. I'm serious.

Until you do change your number, tell him to stop calling you. If he gets squirley, call the police. He's stalker material.

Lady K said...

limpy ~ Should it bother me that he asked if I could be a size 14? I thought that was a little strange, too...

Lady K said...

callie ~ you really think so? I've been ignoring his calls and he hasn't been leaving messages, so maybe he got the hint.

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

New number! New number! Listen to Callie.

captain corky said...

I had a creepy neighbor once too. His name is the Birdman. LOL

Maybe you should get a pitbull. ;)

limpy99 said...

I hear Michael Vick is looking to unload some pitbulls, cheap.

Big Pissy said...

THAT is some creepy shit!!!!

New # !

Lady K said...

DAYAM, y'all!!! Been a couple days...NO creepy. Limpy, no offense, but I don't like pitbulls. Bad experience with a neighbor's dog and another neighbor's cat ending up in my yard. LONG story.

TheBirdman33 said...

I am shocked if there really is a family living with el creepo.

You didn't give him your blog address did you?

That could be bad...but feel free to give him mine, the more readers the better