Wednesday, August 1, 2007


I was attacked right HERE IN MY NEW PLACE last night. Maddie woke me up around 11pm, wanting to go out. Usually, she can wait, but for her to keep nudging me with that cold nose...OKAY, ALREADY!

So we go out. It was drizzling, as it does this time of year, and the wind was blowing. She does her thing, and we turn to walk back and BAM! This gang of MEXICAN PUNKASS-PUNK ASSDARTS starts walking toward us, going, "aaayyyy,,,,chica, wit' da doggie..whassup, chica?" "Hey essay, check her OUT, mang..."

(HOLY SHIT) is the only thing going through my head. I just ignored them, and that seemed to piss them off more, so they approached us going, "ah, white girl not GOOD enough for us?" And one of them kicked my dog, hard enough to make her yelp. DO NOT FUCK WITH MY DOG! I got pissed and told them to knock it off and told them to just leave us alone, then one of the other guys said "get this white bitch, essay, she "things" she better than us," and then before I could start running, little fucker karate-kicked me in my ribs.

LUCKILY, I didn't fall down and I ran home and got in long enough to lock the door, and two minutes after that they threw an M-80 or some damn fireworks shit at my door.

I'm SO glad I moved HERE. FUCK.

Doesn't seem to matter WHERE I am in this country now, I am officially a MINORITY. I am NOW a CRACKER. Pretty soon *I'M* gonna need a fucking GREEN CARD.


I called the cops, they helped, my next door neighbor came over and helped out (what a way to meet your neighbor), and this morning you bet your ASS I told the office that if this is the kind of shit I can expect I want my security deposit AND my pet deposit back and I am OUT OF HERE.


The police told me that this is REALLY unusual for this neighborhood, and they've been looking for these little punks (not so little, in their TWENTIES, christ-would-you-graduate-already) for awhile.

What the FUCK have I gotten myself INTO here? I also met the "security guy," who's assured me that they will "beef up" their patrol at night. No offense, but he is also a "whitie."

Yeah. FUCK. This is just what I needed right now.

Happy HNT, kiddos! I'd moon you, but I'm busy barricading the place.
Treble Flag


Motor City Monk said...

Holy Crudlickers!

Sounds like you're lucky to get out of that situation in one piece.

Stay safe and carry some mace.

Lady K said...

monk ~ welcome to my crib! LOL I do feel pretty lucky to have gotten out of that one. I hadn't been carrying, but I made sure that my mace still worked yesterday. I may have killed a tree, but at least I'll be protected now.

captain corky said...

That sucks ass!!! You have the absolute worst luck K. I think you need to get a bigger dog!

Nonny said...

Those son's of bitches! I'm about ready do come down there, track them down and gut stab every last mother fucking one of them.

You do need to move back to OH. We have no crime here ;)

Pud said...

And everyone told me coming to Iraq was dangerous!

I'm glad you're okay! Sounds like you are going to have to start packing some heat just to take your dog for a walk.

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

I hate it that you had to deal with that, and right when you moved in, too. You're safe, you're okay, and I'm glad of that, but I'm wondering (for the future, God forbid) if mace is going to be enough against a whole group of street terrorists. I'm guessing that your Latino neighbors despise these guys as much as you do-- maybe something good will come out of all of this.

Callie said...

Holy crap!

I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. Hopefully, it's not a common occurance.


Jerrster said...

holy crap.....and you just got settled. This shit blows.

limpy99 said...

Start carrying grenades.

Cap'n H said...

Even the so-called nice neighborhoods are not really that nice.

As increasing numbers of people become one or 2 paychecks away from desparation, so go the neighborhoods that they call home.

Even the tonier parts of town don't escape this wonderful social phenomenon, but the way of this country will never see "from each according to his ability to each accroding to his need" (the words of Karl Marx) as a political philosophy anytime soon.

Lady K said...

cork ~ it DID suck ass, and funny, someone told me I need to get a pitt bull. No thanks, I like Maddie. We're both doing alright!

nonny ~ BRING IT! I know you could've taken them.

pud ~ no shit, right? I got my mace back on my keychain.

alkelda ~ if nothing else, everyone around me is looking out for me, and the new complex is aware of the situation.

callie ~ the cops said they'd probably not come back, they've been looking for these little hellions for awhile.

jerr ~ it blows like a $2 hooker.

limpy ~ I'll have to venture out into the new 'hood and find the nearest grenade store. Thanks for the tip!

h ~ those little fuckers should be deported and stuck in mexican jail. I hear it's pretty brutal. Buncha asspunchers.