Tuesday: jury duty. There's just no getting out of it this time, so I'll be trekking it downtown early in the morning. My mission: get them to dismiss me as soon as I get there. I won't cause a scene or get arrested or anything, I just need to convince them that I'm unfit for a jury ~ EVER. I'm torn between saying, "Have you seen my weiner?" and... "Have you seen my ruby slippers?"
I know what you're thinking, "to be a juror is an honor and a privilege" (*cough*bullshit*cough*). Dear AZ Gov'ment: I'd LOVE to drive 30 miles to just sit and READ all fucking DAY...but I kind of have things to do, like more packing, fighting my current landlord about the fucking RENT and finding a new cave to call my own. Yeah, it's been real, yo.
I'm just thankful I won't have the usual "Floyd Day hangover." Well, other than the music running through my head...LOL If none of you have EVER listened to "Great Gig in the Sky" from their Dark Side of the Moon album, PLEASE DO. Sticks like glue for LIFE.
Have a great day, peeps! This may be the ONLY time you'll see me write, "I'd much rather be at work..."
7 comments:
Do they still pay people like a dollar an hour? Good luck K.
cork ~ LOL yeah, I think it's something like $12 a day. OOOHHH, now I can pay for that surgery I've been waiting for so patiently! This is gonna blow.
But won't you get mileage too? ;-)
seriously, I'm sending vibes to AZ...."don't pick Lady K....don't pick Lady K" ;-)
BP ~ I am SO running late. Hopefully I won't be emailing from jail later...
I've been called for jury duty twice. Both times, within a month of registering to vote. No lie. The first time was a capital (or is it OL?) murder case where the death penalty was on the table. When asked if I could go along with it, I said, sure. BUT, because of the case, I'd prefer to see the bastard go to prison for the rest of his life and have to live with all the BIG GUYS when they find out he's a baby killer and molested 2 young children. I was released. Fuckers. Second time, 400 jurors had been called. I was something like #250. I sat from 9am until something like 3 or 4pm. At that point, the judge called us all in, dismissed those of us who'd not been chosen (they went through over 150 before finding a jury! - it was an armed robbery case where an elderly couple were died from injuries incurred) and told us that because we stayed all day, it counted as serving. We were guaranteed to not be called for 2 more years. I was called like 4 months later, but then got a letter like the next day telling me to disregard. I don't know about AZ, but in NC, if you're called, you are REQUIRED to serve somehow or other, now. Be it on a small-claims, 1-day case, the case you were originally called for, or like I was - sat all day and it counted as serving. You could always say something about your health and horrormones because of it...
not that I haven't written enough, already - Pissy said something I'd forgotten. If you're called and your company does not compensate you for the day (because it's only $12 the state pays you), you can claim it on your taxes, PLUS mileage.
If you get two male attorneys picking jurors, just say "bleeding ovaries" and you'll be outta there like shit through a goose.
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