There are just not enough hours in the day. The more I think I'm getting caught up, the more behind I seem go get. And what really sucks is...I don't fuck off all day!
I need my weekends to look for a decent place to live, and TRY to relax. SOMEBODY's gotta pick up the slack, and we ALL know who's NOT gonna be doing THAT anytime soon. LMAO (Oh yeah, THAT'S a clue that will neither be sought nor found!)
It's just not fair. (I know, I know...life isn't fair.)
I have a dog. I LOVE my dog. My dog is my KID, the only kid I'll ever have. Well, I didn't actually get knocked up by an Australian Heeler (GROSS!) and give BIRTH, but the adoption papers are real, so technically, she's my pseudo-kid.
I hate spending time away from her. I realize I HAVE to, if I want us both to eat, stay warm/cool, keep a roof over our heads and upkeep the car so she can hang her head out the window and bark at strangers. I get that. It just sucks that I can't spend as much time/energy with her as I want.
What I DON'T get is how some people give 150% at their jobs, while others get away with MAYBE 60% or less, and manage to stay employed.
Yeah, I'm ranting again, but I have just been feeling cheated. I brought work home with me. Granted, it was kind of mindless shit I could do while watching Gilmore Girls and CSI reruns, but it was still work, to make life easier for other people AT work, including myself. I only made a measly hot dog for dinner, and ain't chargin' the company for the 2 1/2 hours I spent DOING said mindless shit. I'll probably do the same thing again tomorrow, although NOT so mindless, because I need the weekend for personal shit. Imagine that. Feeling GUILTY for taking a WEEKEND so I can have a so-called life. Huh. I already feel guilty enough for taking ONE fucking vacation day. Jesus. You'd think I was gone a WEEK the way people were happy I was back. FUCK. I guess I should be happy they appreciate me, but still...I fill in for everyone else when THEY are gone, but my shit piles UP while I'M gone. What the FUCK?
Do I care? Yeah. Do I care too much? Probably. Will I end up going in over the weekend to play catchup? More than likely, since a few of the apartments I want to see are in that area. I'm doing laundry as I NEED it. Fashion? What the fuck is THAT? I barely take time to do my makeup and hair in the mornings. God Damn, I'm a sucker for guilt. Must be the Catholic in me...there's gotta be SOME kind of therapy for this. I believe they call it Xanax? ha ha ha!
On a good note, I did manage to break off a call to my folks, who live like ten miles from me, and whom I haven't seen in over a month. Well, I got to talk to my Dad, anyway. Moms was on her way home (she stays late AND brings the shit home), and I'm bummed I missed her, but it was good to at least touch base. Sometimes she and I get a chance to email a line or two. Maybe I can stop in there this weekend after work...ha ha. Or maybe we can get together when THEY get to retire. ha.
Happy Hump Day, y'all!