Pops looked HORRIBLE when I went to visit this afternoon. I bawled like a little girl all the way home. BUT!!! When I talked to him later in the evening, he sounded a LOT better, and even talked about the turkey sandwich he got for dinner. His breathing sounded a lot better.
They're still trying to get rid of the fluid around his heart and trying different meds, and his temperature is WAY down.
MY GOD the TUBES on him everywhere are just NUTS. They're toying around with the idea of an angiogram on Friday. The ultrasound on his heart showed that the left ventrical is weak. If they can't get his heart rate under control, they'll have to go in and "shock it." FUCK.
I totally hated seeing him like that. I am NOT ready for this shit. NOT. I've decided to make a HARD effort to quit smoking, although stress and anxiety just make me want to smoke more. It's amazing I'M not having a fucking heart attack what with work, home, and upcoming surgery shit. JEEZ. Will Mother Nature just get this BLACK CLOUD OFF OF ME??? Who's got the fucking voodoo doll, for crying in a bucket!? Take the PINS OUT!
Then again, I talked to my girlfriend in Virginia, and THEY'RE going through hell because of all that insane bullshit at VA Tech. My thoughts and prayers are with THOSE families, for sure.
DEEP BREATHS. LOTS of 'em. And LOTS of prayers, if ya got 'em.
And hopefully, some SLEEP tonight.
Hope everyone has a happy, healthy, stress-free weekend.
Love ya, Pops!