Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Elephant Wrestlers

There I was, after a pretty rough day at the office, having just finished some leftover comfort food, trying to relax and watch some psycho bitch on American Idol (I SWEAR I only caught it because I was flipping channels and it cracked me up because at one point during the day I really felt like flipping out like she did).

Anyway. Miss Mads is curled up on my feet, being nice and mellow, the phone was off, and all was getting right with the world. Ohm......

All of a sudden, the sky was falling. I KNOW the ceiling was about to cave in, because my neighbors had a herd of wild elephants running around. They were up and down the stairs outside. They were in every room of their apartment. I think they must have been charging admission for some sick elephant mud-wrestling competition. The thought was unnerving, and I almost called animal control. Seriously.

How can one relax with such ruckus going on? It's bad enough that I have to ask the receptionist to turn down her music 50 times a day and pray that her disruptiveness isn't out of control, so when I get home, god dammit, I likes me some quiet time. What the hell? I'm not trying to be an uptight bitch, just deserve a little respect, is all. I don't go beating on my ceiling for the hell of it, right?

This went on for a good hour or so, long enough to get the dog all riled up and barking her head off. NICE. I was going to run up and just knock and say, "step lightly, please!" But one of the elephants must have taken the championship and got a trophy full of peanuts or something, because just as I got my shoes on, the stampede stopped.

I'm running a nice, hot bubble bath as we speak, to at least TRY to get to the Zen I was feeling a little while ago. Those elephants better behave, too, or I'm getting the fucking tranq gun.

Treble Elephant Shhh

10 comments:

Cap'n H said...

Heh, I wonder if there were any other strange sonic oddities to accompany the pachydermal athletics. Lord knows that we've heard a few other things upstairs when I have visited.

Pud said...

I don't miss apartment living at all. I'll take my little trailer here in the desert over an apartment any day.

Hedy De Vine said...

wouldn't it have been perfect if they had come down and asked you to make your dog stop barking?

captain corky said...

I always ask for an upstairs apartment for the very reason you're sighting. Carrying furniture up a flight of stairs on moving day always beats dealing with a heard of elephants indefinitely.

Lady K said...

h ~ nope, just the elephants, but I know what you mean ;-)

pud ~ it has its advantages. At least I don't have to pay for maintenance.

hedy ~ PRICELESS!

cork ~ my dog is weird about stairs. Go figure! And the elephant wrestling is pretty rare.

Steven Novak said...

"Step lightly please."

Ya...ummm...

That would have made them pay. ;)

Steve~

Jerrster said...

them bastards....

my condo is right opposite the community pool....so during the summer months.....all freaking night long....MARCO.....POLO.....MARCO...
POLO.....MARCO.....POLO.....SHUT UP!!

limpy99 said...

Just weaken your ceiling joists a little bit. They'll get the message when they crash through to your place.

Big Pissy said...

Apartment living just bites, doesn't it? :(

Elephant Lady said...

What do you mean you ALMOST called animal control? You're as bad as Elephant Wrestlers are.