What a Long, Strange Trip...

I'm BAACK!!! I'll have to keep my posts short and sweet, as it's pretty difficult for me to sit upright for any length of time.

Thank you all SO much for the well wishes. I've missed you guys and have been thinking about you all!

The operation was a success, so far as we can tell. It's more the internal healing that we're concerned about now. They removed all of my sigmoid colon and part of my decending colon, and fixed the fistula. (YAY!) It was touch and go for the first few days in there. They thought something was going on with my kidneys, but all tests came back good, so it was just a matter of internal swelling and trauma. I now look like a human pin cushion, what with all the blood they kept drawing. Every time they came in, I just said, "Uh, yeah...good luck finding a vein this time."

I've been cut vertically from belly-button to pelvis. Coupled with the hip-to-hip scar from the last surgery, I now have an inverted "T" on my belly, which, by the way, just happens to be the first letter of my first name. Go figure! Guess it's too late to change my name now, huh?

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I'm on the road to recovery. Every day seems to get better, but this time it's slow going, and I'm guessing it's just because of the nature of the incision.

I'm at the 'rent's for probably the better part of this week and possibly over the weekend. I long to be at home, but it's really nice to have the peeps around to help me with what used to be "the little things."

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

Love,
Lady K ;-)

NOONER!!!

Check-in time is at NOON tomorrow. I WISH it was at a hotel for some hot sex. Once this is all said and over, somebody BETTER check me into some sweet hotel for some hot sex. If not, then I needs me a nice massage, facial, pedi/mani, and some MAJOR FOOD.

This losing almost 50 lbs shit was cool for awhile, but okay...bitch needs a BigMAC or Whopper or something and some FRIES, know what I'm saying?

Let the good times roll...and keep the prayers and good vibes coming...I'll be back!!!

THIS Monday CAN'T suck, peeps.

Uh...Change of Plans

Hey kiddos! Change of plans, surgery has now been scheduled for this coming Monday, the 21st. Checking in at 12 noon, surgery commencing at around 2pm. Looks like they'll be taking out part of my colon and then fixing that nasty fistula. Honestly, even though I'm scared outta my wits, this is a relief, because I know once it's done, I'll be back to normal. Whatever THAT means, ha ha.

I'll be gone for about a week, but as soon as I get back on this crazy thing, I'll let you know what happened. I doubt they'll let me take any pictures, and besides...I don't want any "valuables" in there while I'm out of it, anyway.

Wish me luck, and keep the prayers and good vibes coming. I really appreciate all your good wishes.

Lots of luv,

~ Lady K

I want to EAT REAL FOOD, DAMMIT!!!

Here are my demands: I want a Philly CheeseSteak. The best in the country. I want the bun grilled/toasty, I want the peppers and onions PERFECT, and I want the cheese melted and gooey. AND i WANT IT WITH mushrooms AND a little garlic. AND I want some fries with vinegar.

The next day, I want a Big Mac with NO lettuce, a PLAIN BUN, extra sauce and extra pickles (the DILL kosher kind ;) ), NO middle bread, AND a fish sandwich. And fries. LOTS of them, and I mean FRESH, not those LIMP shit ones. Don't skimp on the ketchup packets, and I want some extra tartar sauce to dip those fries in, got it???

Next, I want anything off the Taco Bell menu. Then order me a pizza with extra cheese, extra pepperoni, and mushrooms.

OH! Wait. HONEY BEAR'S BBQ, shredded pork or chicken, and ANY kind of BBQ falling-off0the-bone beef ribs. Shoot, right now I want to make my OWN damn ribs. I make some really good baby backs.....

Don't get me started on ham and peas and stuff... ANY KIND OF MEAT!!!!

My mouth is watering, and I wish I had it in me to research any kind of pics, but I'd only be making you guys more hungry! LOL!

I'll just sit here and eat my fucking mashed potatoes and pudding.

FUCK.

The Coping Mechanism

Okay, so the hospital called me about some pre-op shit I have to do, namely a type/cross blood test to make sure they have my blood type there during surgery. I told the gal, "okay, just make sure the blood is at LEAST 1/3 vodka so I don't go into convulsions on the table and shit."

She didn't think that was very funny.

Just my way of dealing. Morbid? Sure! But hey, I can't rely on my looks forever. Thank GOD I have my sense of humor to fall back upon. Kinda like I had my accounting background to fall back on when I didn't quite make it as a rock star ;-)

Okay...so this test is new. Are they expecting me to bleed out or something? When I had that surgery last year, they didn't order this shit. I just had to go in, give them a bunch of info, sign zee papers, and viola: I was in the recovery room a few days later.

Apparently, this time is pretty serious. Of COURSE I'm freaking out, as well as my dog, who can't seem to stop crapping in the living room in the middle of the night lately. It's really funny how they can sense when something's wrong, isn't it? God bless her little heart. She just had a birthday, too! Six! Don't ya think it's about time she figured out that the carpet is NOT the lawn?

Anyway, I've pretty much been on mashed potatoes, jello & pudding for awhile, just to keep the pain to a minimum. Today I said FUCK IT and made some ultimate comfort food:

Oh, yeah, baby! Grilled ham & cheese, french fries (those frozen "fast food" kind) and bread&butter pickle chips. Dammit to hell, I was STARVING! I only ate about half, and the pain I'll be in for the next couple days will be worth it. Remind me I said that when I'm whining later...

I even took that pic with my new camera AND managed to download it! Once I stopped looking for a place to load the film, I was home free. LOL

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

Pics...

I TOLD y'all, I'm retarded when it comes to the new digital, and it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow. I am figuring out why, though, so for now, deal with pics from the phone:

Seriously, this above pic is NOT a "split shot." Crazy, huh?

I really DID take all of these pics here in AZ. I swear on EVERYTHING I believe in...

Happy Monday, peeps...

It's a DATE!

Oh. My. GAWD! I can't believe he asked me out. The colorectal surgeon wants me to meet him at the hospital in three weeks! I can't believe it and I'm so excited I'm beside myself! What SHALL I wear?

...

and then I woke up. I wish they were able to schedule sooner, but hey, at this point I'll take what I can get, right? As long as they get this situation fixed! I never thought I'd say this, but I'm REALLY sick of pain meds. I want to feel NORMAL again. Anyway, surgery is scheduled for 1/31. I have to check in at 6am (yay) and do a different sort of "colon blow" the night before. GROOVY! I'm gonna live it up a little bit this weekend and then just mellow out. I've got just an EKG and bloodwork to go, then it's just a waiting game. I'm expected to be IN the hospital for a whole week this time, and recovery is just like before, 4-6 weeks. Oh, happy day.

This truly does suck ass. (HA! Another pun!)

Hey, how about instead of giving y'all a shot of my skinnier ass for HNT, I give you a really cool pic of the sunrise I took with my new camera this morning while walking the dog? Yeah? Okay. This was at about 6:45am, looking eastward...GAWJUSS! And COLD! The temp was only 39!

I am SO retarded when it comes to this thing. I'm so used to the cameraphone and its simplicity. Everything happens for a reason, right? I'll have plenty of time to figure out this software pretty soon. Oh, that and play with my pottery wheel. Yeah. THOSE should be some funny pictures.

Happy Thursday, peeps. Let the good times roll while they can!